24-year-old boyfriend denies adding anything hot to spice-sensitive girlfriend's spaghetti, the red pepper flakes on the counter tell a different story: 'Every single time he cooks, he makes it spicy'

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    AITA for not eating the spaghetti my boyfriend made?

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    Im going to keep this simple. Me (24F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for about 4 years now going on 5. We live together and both
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    of us cook every now and then for eachother. I absolutely CANNOT handle anything spicy sorry if I am a wuss but it just ruins any food for me.
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    My boyfriend knows this and every single time he cooks he makes it spicy. He thinks I won't notice because he puts other things in it and denies it every time I ask him if he did.
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    Today he made spaghetti and I begged him PLEASE do not put anything hot in it. If he chooses to put whatever ingredients to make it hot in his I have no problem with that. I serve myself a bowl and guess what?
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    It was spicy did he put in it and he said "nothing maybe it was the sausage" I then proceed to go look on the stove and I ! I then ask him what see red pepper flakes all over around
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    the pot. I go tell him what I just saw he then admits to putting red pepper flakes but only a little bit. I told him I was not eating it. I leave the room and
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    he starts yelling at me about how ungrateful I am. So my question is am I the a_hole?
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    RefrigeratorFun4676 NTA - what else does he know about you that he chooses to blatantly ignore, lie about or do the opposite of and then gaslight you on?
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    Obvious-Arrival2571 this, it doesn't sound like he even likes you.
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    Offbeat Music07 Exactly. The way he keeps ignoring her boundaries says a lot. No one deserves to be treated like that over and over.
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    Dittoheadforever You're NTA. What is his game plan here, anyway? Is he trying to make sure he never has to cook for you?
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    Hot_Fan_132 OP Its crazy because he LOVES to cook. Even more than me most times, so I absolutely have no idea why he does this.
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    speculator100k What is his game plan here, anyway? This is just a guess: He thinks OP will eat his fantastic food without realizing it's "spicy". Afterwards he will tell her there were actually some chili flakes in it, and she will realize that she's not that sensitive to spicy food. That, or he just doesn't care.
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    Sea_Mongoose6168 Yeah it seems like a "test" to me. He wanted her to love it so he could say "ah-hah!"
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    apocketfullofcows NTA are you sure you want to be with someone who treats you like this? i have a lower spice tolerance than my partner. whenever my partner makes
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    shared food, they always keep that in mind. similarly, when i cook for us, i keep my partner's preferences in mind. that's how it should be in a healthy, loving relationship.
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    Hot_Fan_132 OP Yes this is exactly what I do for him considering he does not like tomatoes or onions! I just have no idea why he does this to me.
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    IllustriousBowler259 This is a control thing. He doesn't seem to like you very much and he's a liar. Not sure how much more you need to know about him to make it obvious that you're in a bad relationship. NTA for leaving the room, or the relationship.
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    OkManufacturer767 NTA Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?
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    Slight-Balance9827 Whoever likes more spice should be the one to add spice to their plate or split the meal into different pans while cooking. My partner likes
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    spicy more than me, so he happily just add hot sauce or red pepper flakes to his meal. He gets spice and I get no/ little spice. He has high bl d pressure, so I use less salt
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    and just add a sprinkle to my meal if I want more. That is what a partner that cares does. It is easy to add seasoning, but impossible to take out of a dish.
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    You're NTA, but your partner is for adding spice when you don't like it.
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    Kitastrophe8503 NTA. You're not ungrateful for not eating something you specifically asked him to not sneak into your food and he did anyway.
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    If this is something he does a lot its on purpose and the intent seems clear. He wants you to feel bad for not wanting to eat something he knew you wouldn't like when he made it.
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    Ask yourself what possible reasons someone would have for that. Are any of them good?
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    What else is he gonna sneak into the our food? Or what is he already sneaking into your food? Probably nothing, but that he wants to be able to should be setting off alarms
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    Hot_Fan_132 OP He likes to cook and I absolutely have no idea why he does this to me. What really me off is he acts like he didnt out anything in it like I wouldn't notice.

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